Mall Rats

The Story you're about to read is hilarious, unless you've been there before as most of us moms have, and then it might bring a tear of frustration to your eye too.

Sometimes I don't think I have enough energy for this gig!

Yesterday my friend called and needed a favor. Could I take her little girl for the afternoon? Sure! The only thing I had planned was a quick trip to the mall to pick us some matching ties for Mike and Aaron...(Family Pictures). Would she mind if I took her too? Of course not, as long as it wasn't asking too much of me. Oh no, it would be fun! Mike was working from home so he could be here with the baby while she napped and I would take Aaron, Bekah and Bekah's friend. A little trip to the mall would be a harmless, fun filled afternoon, right?


Well as soon as we got there they immediately wanted to climb aboard the carousel. I didn't bring money for that kids, sorry. We had only pressed on a few feet before we were each presented with a sample of teryaki chicken on a toothpick. What is this, they all whined. It's chicken, just eat it.

The escalators! This was an adventure that I've now learned, I can only manage with two children not three. We ended up taking the elevator.

They ran straight to the little dinosaur playground, when I regretfully had to end their fun by announcing I really, really needed to use the restroom and they would be forced to come with me because I was the only adult on this excursion. In the bathroom the girl's managed to unscrew one of the soap bottles from underneath the counter and I kept calling out, "You're all still in here right?" Gosh Mom - you're supposed to go before we leave the house!

Then we made our way to the dinosaur playground. Oh, so much fun! And then, sadly, it had to come to an end. But not without a good bribe in there. "If you guys are good in the tie shop, I'll get you a cookie." They eagerly agreed and then everyone put on their shoes. Off we go.

The tie shop, well, let me just say this, it's right across from a water fountain/wishing well area and with that being said, I think you'll understand why they never set foot in the tie shop. But I could see them as I quickly picked out two ties that would compliment the girls' Easter attire.

While I paid for the ties my back was turned and I must have missed the action, because the next thing I know Aaron's shirt is all wet and he's waddling like he's had an accident. Nope, no accident...(well, not that kind at least). Yep, you guessed it. HE FELL IN THE WATER FOUNTAIN!

Was that the end of our fun adventure? Oh no. Well, as promised I took them over to Mrs. Field's, but not before making Aaron return the coins he had retrieved from the pool. Oh, and this time we took the escalator! Going up is much easier apparently.

At Mrs. Field's they each chose a cookie and I handed over my card. WHAT did you say? You don't take that card. Great! Come on kids let's go, all the while trying to explain what had just happened, when I just know Aaron was probably thinking - is this because I fell in the fountain?

So we settled for an Orange Julius instead. As I handed the kids each of their little cups I instructed them not to spill, (why do I waste my breath saying this?) As Bekah was climbing into her chair what did she do? She spilled her drink all over the floor! Oh boy. I took her cup, a little embarrassed by now, just in case anyone had witnessed our siege of terror on the mall. I walked back over to the lady and asked if she had any extra she could give her because of the spill, she graciously filled her back up and we sat down to enjoy our little treat.

We all had a content look on our faces, the children: because their tummies were now full of yummy, sugary goodness and me: because this outing was almost over and then I could go home and lay down!

Then it was time to go and we had to again walk past the carousel, where I had to again remind them I didn't bring money for that. Once we were in the van I said, "Okay are we ready to take your friend home?"

"NO!" Came many little adamant shouts from the back of the vehicle. "We haven't had a chance to play yet!"


What do you call what we just did in the mall? Oh right, that wasn't "play" - that was a disaster!


But for some strange reason, I still had fun. When can we go back?

His Way or The Highway

I have to preface this post by saying, normally I don't mind when the kids are off-track. As long as it is warm weather and I can take them to the park, the zoo...etc. But when it's bitter cold and we are stuck in doors...it's a completely different story.

This last time my kids were off-track it was rather cold and I was dreading the seemingly endless days of fighting, yelling and too much TV due to the cabin fever we would be experiencing. And then, an invitation came that was so good it must have been delivered straight from heaven itself!

Kids off track?

Try The Recreation Center for fun activities,

swimming and new friends!

What a golden opportunity to save them from boredom and me from insanity! I talked to Mike and it didn't take long to convince him of the sheer genius this plan presented. Then I promptly signed them up for the entire 3 weeks as I gratefully forked over the dough this little slice of heaven would cost us. Now granted it wasn't all day, (only 3 hours each day), but it was enough that it gave me and the kids a break from each other and kept them entertained.

Well I forgot to take into consideration that Aaron sometimes struggles with change. All in all, he did pretty well! There was only one day that he didn't go, instead claiming that he really, really wanted to come home and watch me clean the house. (Was I really going to clean the house ALL DAY? No way! But I told him that as a deterrent...it didn't work.) Towards the end of the 3 weeks he started complaining that he didn't want to go anymore, he just wanted to stay home and play - maybe I got carried away and over-scheduled them, it's a possibility I'm willing to own up to.

There were only 2 other kids at the Rec Center that they knew. Emma makes friends quickly and seemed very comfortable with the situation. Aaron also makes friends easily, but as you're beginning to see - doesn't really like his routine messed with. So after the off-track time was over and they returned to school we received a new opportunity...soccer! This was Aaron's response:

Mom: "Aaron, do you want to try soccer?"

Aaron: "Will Spencer be in it?" (Spencer is one of Aaron's best friends)

Mom: "No he won't."

Aaron: "Then NO! NO MORE NEW FACES!"



Okay, I guess I got my answer.

Parent Teacher Conference

It's that time again. Parent Teacher Conference!

I love Parent Teacher Conference, (most of the time). PTC is a much needed payday for moms and dads. It is a time for parents to pat themselves on the back. It is also a good time to praise our children for all their hard work after we've listened to the glowing reports of these dedicated teachers.

That being said, it is also a time where I get hear some of the best stories about my kids!!

The other day, Emma's teacher showed me her math test. I'm happy to report she only missed 2 questions. One of the problems asked her to explain how she came to this conclusion. She wrote this out in the space provided where she was actually supposed to regroup the numbers and "show her work":

"I found the answer by useing my pencil."

We had a good laugh! But I can't really say I blame her, if it was me in her place, I would have wrote out, "I found the answer by using my calculator (or asking Mike)."

I love her!

Quotable Kids

So my kids were fighting over a toy... (No surprise there). And I was explaining to Emma how Bekah would very likely just give her the toy if she would ask her nicely instead of demanding her to hand it over. And then in my motherly wisdom, I quoted this little bunny-sharing book I've read to them before, but apparently Emma didn't remember the main character, it played out like this:

Mom: "It's just like that story where the bunny says, no bunny likes to be told what to do, but they're happy to do what they're asked."

Emma: "What bunny!?! I don't remember any bunny ever saying that!!"

Two Jobs

Sometimes I feel like I have two jobs. Being a full time mom and writing. I love both jobs, but I can't go to job number 2, until job number 1 settles down a little bit. "Settles down" translates into baby napping, other children playing DOWNSTAIRS - where I can still hear the chaos they ensue but it doesn't totally interupt my genuis at work - I'm laughing even as I write this.

The baby has been so sick and not napping well, and the kids for some strange reason don't always appreciate being banished to the basement! Go figure. But I have managed to organize some of my many scattered thoughts into two rough chapters. And I've even sent them off to my editor. Thank you Dana.

Remember I'm looking for hilarious and heartwarming stories (even the sad ones) if you'd like to contribute. For now, baby is crying in the other room so I'm punching back in as "Mom" and hanging up my hat as "Writer."

And don't think I haven't noticed, neither one of these is a paying gig...yet.

My New Writing Project

I've started a new writing project. Along with my own hiliarious and heartwarming stories of raising children, I am asking for contributions. I am going to try to publish this one so, if you'd like names changed let me know. My children provide me with plenty of material, but I wanted to use some of my friends and family's stories as well. If you're interested give me a call, send me an email or just print something off and stick it in my hand! Wish me luck! Thanks, Gail.

By The Way

This post is for Mike.


Hey Babe, I changed our template. Hope it's not too girly. I tried out the pink, but decided you would appreciate this color over the cotton candy background.

Love,
Me

I couldn't sleep. Read previous post - oh and thanks for not eating Emma's brownies.

Midnight Snack

I don't usually get up in the middle of the night with a growling tummy, searching the cupboards for something sweet. But tonight I did.

Sometimes when I turn in early I suffer the consequence by waking up, also very early! But last night I was just completely wiped and couldn't keep my eyes open any longer no matter how I tried! I started the day by shoveling our drive way (which is much bigger now that we have the side pavement) and a friend's drive way, (with Bekah's help). I caught up on all the laundry I had ignored last week, we had 3 different friends over (playdates) and I fed 2 of them dinner. Aaron got a weird fever in the middle of the day, ya know the kind where they're burning up from tummy to head but their feet are like blocks of ice? So, I was worried about him too - that always drains me a little. I've been fighting a cold for the last several weeks and every time I feel like I'm getting over it, I wake up with nasty cold symptoms again...come on! By the time 8:30 rolled around, I was exhausted.

I must have slept very deeply, because by 3 am I was wide awake. I had also made brownies that night, so I wandered into the kitchen ready to cut off a bite or two. But when I checked the pan, no brownies!! Where did they go? Oh ya, there's 5 other people in this family. Then it hit me, Emma didn't finish her brownies, she took a few bites then said, "EWW, I don't like brownies." Where was her bowl, did Mike already get to it? Ah-Ha! Mike didn't see it, her left over brownies were all mine (mad scientist laugh)! So I stuffed me face and feeling very satisfied (yummy sigh) with the taste of chocolate on my tongue I went back to bed. An hour later I got up for the day. I can't sleep. I might as well go strap on my running shoes and hit the treadmill.


Time to work off all the brownies.

The Sneeze

Emma came upstairs today, all dressed for school. Okay! If you're feeling up to it, I'll take you. I replied. As I was getting the girls in the car to go pick up Aaron from kindergarten Emma came to me with a pained look on her face.

Mom - "What's wrong?"

Emma, (through a stifled cry) - "I just sneezed!"

Mom - "Do you need one more recovery day?"

Emma nods.

Speaking from experience, a cough, clearing your throat, or even something as little as a sneeze hurts sooo bad when you've just had your tonsils out. Take it easy Emma. You can go back when you're ready.